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i know it might not mean anything to anybody here today. i had to go to a memorial today for my grandmother who was 94 years old. i thought it would be a great celebration of life. when you lose someone who you have known all your life it is a different thing. i was fine until i saw all the pictures and heard the music. i have been very teary eyed since then. i was unable to be with her when she passed away due to a danm sinus infection.. i was with my brother when he passed away . i feel like i failed my grandma who fed me when i was hungry and put a roof over my head when i was homeless. i didn't think it would be so hard to say good bye to someone who led such a full life. i think it is just the selfishness in me not wanting to let go. love you gramma d! no need for anyone to reply. just had to get that off my heart.
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Brother, can you spare a dime?
I’ve been awake all night, drinking all night, listening to albums on Spotify and reading about holy things. I don’t think I’ll ever sleep again. Sleeping is just for fools. Nothing is getting done. I’m a fucking bum, I keep burning things down. Nothing gets done when I sleep, so that’s going to end. Everyone’s getting up to go to work. What losers! Much more fun to get 10-12 hours of sleep per day, and then screw around. Except I don’t feel like sleeping anymore. I love eating once a day I guess, I go into like a gorge-fest, last time was like 8 hours ago with vegetable soup (1 meal) followed immediately by Spanish rice (a 2nd meal). No one cares, but I am happily buzzed now. I’m just healthy enough sometimes to still feel good! (And no more.) People who turn me down are fucking losers, they don’t know what they threw away! People who just screw with me are even worse. Don’t cast your pearls before swine. Merry Christmas, everyone!
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If you're a vet, or a feeling human being, you'll "get' this. I'm supposing I'll get out of this funk. This country, government seems to have gone to hell. Disappointment pervades.
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