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Self Appreciation and Ass play - Healthy? or side-effect of limited options?
I love butts, cheeks, holes, rimming, toys, anal, ass play, basically all things ass. But how does something like that develop?
I love playing with my ass, i love looking at it, i love watching toys slowly push into my hole....but i've always felt guilty about this "self appreciation". I tend to think i became like this due to a relatively unfulfilling sex like early in my life, I never got to experience the mutual attention and excitement when you get to fool around with someone you think is hot, at least not for a long time.
Thus I fell into my safety net where i camped out in front of a mirror, toys, lube and towel at the ready and I enjoyed my body, my hole in the most relaxing comfortable way. I started, however to think something was wrong with me, surely its not right to think your own body is "hot"?... I'd spread my cheeks in the mirror and enjoy the sight of my hole, I'd think 'why doesn't anyone my age want to sleep with me? when will i finally get fucked with a real penis?
I gravitate towards videos where young guys look at their butts in the mirror, play with their holes for the first time and look (i believe) in awe of their hole relaxing before their eyes to accept fingers, toys and dildos.
To be clear. i dont just love my ass. I love playing with others butts too... bringing all the tender experience i've learned practicing on myself. If only i'd get the chance more often.
The video collection i've built up of me playing with myself still makes me feel guilty. Why am i into this? i honestly love going back to old videos where i watch myself moan and play with my hole in newly discovered ways. I'm happy for myself... it looks fun, but i wish maybe i had a buddy to play around with and share that new excitement.
I hope there are others out there who enjoy themselves, who practice that self appreciation and who love camping out in front of a mirror. I'm still not sure if maybe this was forced upon me by lack of options or if this is a beautiful healthy thing that i shouldn't feel guilty about. But im glad i've documented my fun times, to see the joy on my face as shoved toys, fingers, vegetables, and stationary into my beautiful hole.
XX