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Sex with a straight friend
I came out to my best friend about 2 months ago, we've been best friends since about 3rd grade. He didn't act really surprised so I figured that he'd probably guessed it already, tho he didn't say that exactly. He asked me why I was telling him now and I just said it's because I haven't come out to many people yet (actually only 1 person before him) and I thought I should tell it to my friends first. We talked about it some and he seemed like he was pretty ok with it.
Anyway I thought everything was ok and it seemed like it was, then about 3 weeks ago we were just hanging out and he asked me what kind of guys I thought were hot and I told him "guys like you except gay" and I laughed like it was a joke, but it wasn't really. Anyway things happened and he let me suck him off, which I liked a lot and I think he did too. But after that he started acting different around me. He hasn't said anything, but it's like he doesn't come over to my house anymore and when I talk to him it's like he's friendly, but not like he's still my best friend. He's always acting like he doesn't have time to hang out with me now. I want to tell him it's not like I expect him to have sex with me, because I know for sure he's straight, but I'm worried about even saying anything.
Im not sure what to do because I think it was a mistake to have sex with him that one time and I don't know what to say to him, mostly I just want him to keep being my friend like he's always been. So I'm just wondering if any guys here ever had sex with a straight friend and what happened and did you still be friends?
Thanks for all the answers you guys. I think I really just need to talk to him, I just feel awkward about it but I'll have to do it. My other friend Ellie told me something that I hadn't thought of, that maybe he's mostly worried that if I come out to a lot of people and that since everybody knows we're best friends, then maybe they'll think he's gay too. I just wish we could be friends like we were and it didn't have to be complicated.
Oh well anyway thanks it was good reading what you all wrote.
Make up a boyfriend. Next time you message him, make it clear that you are seeing someone (your dick has been taken care of, you are not looking) so that he knows you genuinely want to hang out as friends. It would also help a lot if you message him with about a specific event (as opposed to an open-ended invite) and if the event is in public. For instance, invite him to a comedy festival as opposed to to your house. Good luck.
I agreed: everyone is bi but some don't know it
Your friend is even gayer than you
the thing is sometimes straight guys get pissed at themselves for giving in to gay sex whether its just a blowjob or you let him screw you..so for most part its not you it is him..he was a big boy decided what to do with his penis..
first thing I would do is message him see if replies tell him no one will ever know then if he starts bitching that he didn't really think that youd suck his dick if flopped it out at you that he figured youd say no way man we are best friends----then do what I did--tell him if a famous actress or if a girl he knows offered to let you lick and finger her or she let you fuck her--then she would say you were my friend tht I didn't think you would go through it it the guy would say he had a crush on her or hey its just pussy--just kind of play the if it was a girl that would not think you would did it..because it does happen between men and women--its a guilt thing that triggers in their mind
one guy I sucked off twice then he fucked me on his own choice was mad for weeks at me--I just told him man up we were friends before we should remain friends after--it will make things awkward--but just tell him sorry if what you two did made him mad--time will mend this--the friendship will never be same again don't expect it to be
i think it's so vital that you know exactly what you want and expect from str8 friends before you come out to them. you must share these with them up front. sex always changes everything. if you cherish the friendship w/o sex then perhaps that's the way it should stay
Everyone reacts differently.
Maybe your straight friend wasn't so certain about his own preference and sucking him off might have made him doubt his own.
So al few things might happen:
Either he will give it a place, and he will come around.
Either he might feel uncomfortable around you because of his own doubts.
Or he might go full homophobic and reject you.
In any case, time is key, give him some space, but don't abandon him and things might work out again.
Sorry to hear that you seem to have lost his friendship.
I had a similar experience as a teen when my best friend "allowed" me to suck him off several times but never reciprocated in a meaningful way.
Years later I heard that he'd had strong feelings towards me but he thought I'd turn him gay (as if that could happen). I don't know exactly what his sexuality ended up as but best friends I knew he wasn't gay (I was, he was just sufficiently horny to let me get him off once in a while).
If it happened in 2020 rather than the late 70's then he'd have been able to shrug it off as a Bromance but back then we didn't have any way to talk about feelings between two males.
Seems how everyone are bi whether they realize it or not or admit to it...