BanishedBoy's Blogs

    Yes I know I'm only eighteen, but I think to talk about my experiences growing up will not only be helpful but therapeutic for me, and I hope that this can help others. So let us start from the beginning.

     I was an average looking kid at best, blond hair blue eyes. I liked to run with my father but hadn't started puberty yet, so I hadn't entirely developed a runners physique. I was born in August of 2000 in a small town in California to two very loving, but very religious Christians. They were average looking; my father was a tall, well-built man, that had a runners body. My mother was a short but kindly looking woman, a mom from the fifties but put her in the 2000s. The church we went to preached the typical anti-gay or anything different from what they saw, as usual behavior, and being from a small town I typicality only had known the members of the church we went to and the people from around our neighborhood.

    The church also ran the School that I went to, I remember the Pastor/Principle being a real jerk. Every day before school started we had to go to the chapel for morning prayers, and I remember one time that fat old man hit the top of my head with a ruler because I didn't bow my head low enough. Most of the teachers weren't any better. I think most of them thought it was funny, and he really seemed to have a hated for me. So I really couldn't talk to any of my school friends about the feeling I was having about the other boys in my class.

    Our neighborhood wasn't much better we had either older retired people or families with children that were too old or too young for me to play with, most summer was typically long an boring. That was until the summer that I turned eleven. New neighbors had moved into the house next to us, and as luck would have it they also a child — a boy named Tyler a kid with brown hair and green eyes and that was just a day younger than me.
   
    Our parents hit it off almost instantly, and they were invited over for dinner that night. I was away at a church group for boys( kind of like the boy's scouts but more religious), so I didn't get to meet them when they first arrived. When I got home and heard about the family that just moved in  I couldn't wait to meet the boy next door. After dinner our parents wanted to talk to each other more so Tyler, and I went to my room, I will admit at first things were a bit awkward, but after we bonded over our love of baseball, we became friends. Tyler father, a short and thin man, had gotten a job at a company that built airplanes for the air force in the town just a few miles away. His Mother was also short, and a little on the heavy side, but seemed very kind-hearted. They had moved from Dallas Texas, and boy could you tell they were Texans.

    After about an hour of talking everything Baseball related, Tyler asked if I had a girlfriend or if I liked any girls in my class, which I replied no that girls were gross, and we both laughed. After an awkward silence, he asked if I was interested in any of boys from class. My heart skipped a beat as I looked at him stunned, he smiled back and in a low whisper said he knew it, I tried to protest his accusation, but he quickly calmed me down and told me he wouldn't tell anyone if I told him the truth. For some reason, I felt like I could trust him, and there for the first time, I opened up to him about my feelings. I told him about how I felt horrible for even thinking about boys in that way. I started to cry a little, and I remember how he put his hand on my shoulder with such love and kindness, he hugged me and told me that it was alright that he knew how I felt. I smiled at him, and he gave me a slight punch to the arm.

     Unfortunately for me shortly after this, his parents were ready to leave, and we didn't get to finish our conversation from that night.  I asked him if he could come down to the neighborhood pool tomorrow. He gave me another punch in the arm and said he would ask his parents. We said our goodbyes, and we watched them leave. My parents seemed to like them, which made me happy.  As I was getting ready for bed that night the one thing I couldn't put my finger on is how he could tell.

That's all, for now, guys, let me know if you want more. Sorry if there are any errors writing is not my strongest of subjects.