Keen14u's Blogs

Hi All,

     I find myself in an overall transitional phase of life.  For the first time (maybe ever), I'm slowly discovering and appreciating aspects of myself and existence.  After starting in 2011, my last relationship ended around a year ago.  It was a somewhat traumatic, co-dependent melodrama that left me forever changed and close to hospitalization at a certain point.  When he eventually moved away, my psyche and emotions began to knit back together, producing a differing personality with new perspectives and purpose.  It seemed to take a combination of time, medication (both prescribed and natural), and financial stability to restore me to happiness again.  I've become my old self, but even better (imo):  Sadly, I feel awkward really exposing this to my ex, because of the natural confusion as to why this didn't/couldn't take place during our time together.

     Besides being energetic and attentive at work, I'm now satisfied to come back to the apartment we shared, which I am thoroughly cleaning out and re-decorating in an effort to mentally and spiritually cleanse the environment.  I am unfailingly awe-struck at the transformation, which is still in progress!  Of the many things that made up our relationship, my sexual inclinations have altered significantly.  I will always be grateful to him for helping me ease into bottoming regularly.  While he wasn't perfect, he was pretty damn good!  It took some time, but eventually he would be as slow and gentle as I needed at first...  So many dickheads out there just want to slam away immediately like a wild gorilla (you know who you are!)  Since finding new energy (I'm also taking a multivitamin), I've put together a growing collection of sex toys to further explore anal sensation.  I love pulsations directly against my prostate, and am trying out electrical stimulation devices.  It's practically as much fun up my chute as thru my rod!  ;)

     This brings me to a burgeoning dilemma.  As my solo x-capades  become more intense and thrilling, I'm sure I'll look for someone likable and trustworthy enough to share them with.  Probably by the end of the year, I'm guessing.  While I am putting off any sort of emotionally-involved dynamic, I wonder if I should pursue a fuck-buddy scenario.  The thing is, I've had this set-up once before, and began to feel attached to the guy (he considered himself bisexual, and had never experimented with a guy before).  I know this possibility exists, as well as the other way around.  I really want to grow as an individual before entering another relationship:  I should make the best use of my time alone as possible.  It would just be awesome to get hands-on and face-to-face with someone once in a while!  Guys unfortunately don't vibrate or pulse, but there's no replacement for a good rimming or a makeout session!  I'm not sure if the outcome is worth the risk, and I'm thru playing around with trifling hook-up services like Grindr that are filled with weird, evasive asscunts that are probably hiding behind a stock pic in the first place.

     If anyone has any experiences or advice to share, I'd love to hear from you!  I'm familiar with the phoneline, bar, chat room, online personal ad, and dating app methods of hooking up, so helpful tips or worthwhile alternatives would be most welcome.  I joined this site only a week ago, but am quickly becoming a big fan!  It's so reassuring to fully express in a supportive venue. I have a couple of friends I can talk to, but they're (a) straight, (b) co-workers, (c) female, and (d) always busy.  The town I live in is, well, the small-town Midwest:  That pretty much explains it!  I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and deeply thank all of you who have helped me feel comfortable on GayBoysTube!

Everyone Take Care,

Kevin  

P.S.  The pic is just a pathetic, self-serving shriek for attention (i.e., a joke).  There's no EFFING way I ever buy something that gotdamned creepy!