's Blogs
The 'bad boy' thing....thoughts? experiences?
The 'bad boy' is a regular trope in movies, romantic stories and culture, yet it's actually such a real life thing. Women often lament being so fatally, magnetically attracted to 'bad boys' only to wind up bitterly regretting it. I've seen loads of this in my female friends' lives. I've also known many gay guys with a similar kind of experience. Opposites attract, as the saying goes. Sometimes bad boys and relatively tame or civilized people have a certain kind of sizzling erotic chemistry. They can also seem to offer each other what is mutually needed in real life outside of the bedroom, on the human level.
Although I'm not normally attracted to 'bad boys' (I generally like sensible people), years ago I did wind up in a whirlwind thing with a (up to that point) straight guy my own age who just didn't give a crap anymore and wanted to experiment. He was hugely charming, quite intelligent, and had a beautiful soul. But he was seriously on the edge in his life (he actually was a genuine gangster, and a bit trapped in his family background, in London). Despite the thrill while it lasted, and what I still think was his honest attempt to journey out his criminal culture entrapment, he caused me a whole bunch of grief.
Bad boys. People, men or women, so often go like moths to the flame in these cases, foolishing thinking they can have their cake and eat it. They get the guilty thrill of it all, yet hope they can somehow 'tame' him eventually. He offers a chance for some juicy, even dangerous, life experiences that will somehow 'work out in the end'. It's all quite intensely romantic. He's great in bed : uninhibited, wild, passionate, experimental, upredictable. Everything seems free and open and new. He's exciting. He brings a drama to your life that somehow opens up new dimensions and potential meanings, so it is existentially, humanly attractive. He's vividly real and flawed and somewhere in there is a heart of gold despite the godawful mess of his life, or so you think. Yet somehow...somehow...it all ends in tears and the fairy tale crashes smack into a reality that turns out, in the end, to be what it says on the tin. Bad.
Anyone got thoughts or experiences you want to share?
Jesus Daniel, I so totally agree with you. Everything you have written hits the nail firmly on the head. Just like a fast car... the ride is so exciting, but will ultimately kill you or leave you badly injured. I had an experience with a foster boy for a couple of years. He had some real major issues with life, but was such a wonderful guy to know. But Holy Hell!!!, the mess he left behind (broken hearts, emotional distress etc). they do attract like moths to a light, and it takes real control not to be drawn into their trap. I am glade I was able to help him through some difficult period of his life - self harming (MAJOR), suicide attempts (he almost succeeded one day), but he got through ok. Well, as ok as someone like him can be. That face pic reminds me so much of him.