red1844's Blogs

living a lie

red1844 Blog Last Activity 7 years ago 666 views 7 comments
<p>sometimes i wish my life wasn't one lie after another!! i'm so tired of the daily fight to protect myself from all the homophobes in a small communityi am so fucking tired of it!</p>
<p>  every day i pretend to be hetero even though i know  i am homo</p>
<p>oh my god i am so miserable. its not likr i can just pick up aaand move. what the fuck do i dojQuery18203176528074966256_1432534096711???</p>

Comments

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7 years ago

When I felt with that I was from a small town I had to stay closed like that but realistically it only makes you and your soul feel poisoned. But what you need to do is just take the leap of faith and come out. It might not be accepted well where you are at but your picking up the flag for all of the lgbt community that comes after you.... Words of advice though...save up and make sure you have enough to get your own place should need be. The family is called the family because only we know what's its like. And once upon a time if a gayboy or girl lol showed up on your doorstep it was obligation to take them in...after all they are family.. Unfortunatly there we few safe havens like that left so it's best to save up. You will loose friends probably but at the end of the tunnel you will have true friends and that light you carry with you will burn stronger :0) feel free to PM me anytime you'd like my friend -Angel-

swiftjohn
swiftjohn
10 years ago

Sometimes it's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not. Nevertheless, you sometimes have to make compromises just to survive. And in a small town where everybody knows everybody else's business and your very livelihood is dependent upon the approval of others - you make compromises whether you like it or not. Sadly, that's life in the real world. The only solution is to move to a city where people mind their own business and start a new life.

Irishguy40
Irishguy40
10 years ago

I know exactly what you are going through. But I realised a good few yrs back that living a lie is no good for anyone. You are going to have to be honest with yourself. And if you have to move to be the "real you" it is something you HAVE to do. I did it and am happy in my own skin as a gay man!! :-)

10 years ago

Your profile says that ur single so...why can't u just pick up and move? That's what u should really consider doing.

darkknightreturns
darkknightreturns
10 years ago

small town America is tough. If your job/vocation permits, would it be such a bad thing to move to a city where you can blend in and explore your feelings without the whole community knowing?

lustpony
lustpony
10 years ago

At least all the homophobes are deep inside full of desire for seeing and feeling a hard throbbin cock but they can´t accept it and struggle about it - thats why they are homophob. So if in your small community are a lot of homophobes, nowhere will bi downloaded more gay porn than there.
Be strong, they are just yelling apes.

10 years ago

You have my sympathy but would it really be so bad if you came out? Some homophobes are running away from the truth about themselves. Alternatively move away to a bigger, more friendly town.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

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