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subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high..
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.....btw, I think I HAVE it! lol)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16 Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
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The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.): Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5 Willy-nilly (adj): Impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.): Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.): To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.): Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.): Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.): A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n.): A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.): A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.): An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.