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How to tell You Parents U R GAY....

Blog Last Activity 14 years ago 1.1K views 12 comments
Here the problem..My dad is A Correctional Officer he come home from work and talk about The faggots in Pison. He says that two Men being together is sick... I think he is Homophobic. What to do???

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14 years ago

Its a shame your relationship with your father doesnt allow that. I could never tell either of my parents anything really persaonal, but I am a different generation to you. I have a child and if he said to me in a few years that he was gay...then thats fine..... what is your relationship like with your mother... Can you tell her and would she understand and keep from your father.... Why does he need to know right now anyway if he is so narrow minded. Try your mother first if you can.. Good luck.

chazatlas
chazatlas
14 years ago

If your dad is homophobic and stern then actually your best bet is to not tell him until you are out of your parents house and on your own. I know its not right and doesn't seem fair but your dad sounds like he could be a real ass about it and make your teen years in school and at home absolutely miserable way beyond what it may be like now.

So just keep your personal sexual interests to yourself, its none of his business anyway honestly. Also, if he will be paying for your college education - I wouldn't tell him until after you graduated because he could be evil, spiteful and stop paying for school and you need that. So as tough as it might be, suck it up and wait till you have your own apartment and out from under his control. And if you do meet a sweet boy you want to date in high school, don't leave any love letters or gay porn around. Make sure he can't track any gay related websites on your internet browser as well.

I know this is like leading a double life but when it is all said and done you will be glad you waited. You dont want to end up on the street or abused in anyway. After you are out on your own then maybe you can broach the subject but not until then. Some people will tell you, "You shouldn't have to hide or live a lie." True, but the people who say that don't pay any of your bills so don't let them push you into something that could have damaging effects on your life.

14 years ago

i'm not gay. my boyfriend is.

tones66
tones66
14 years ago

i did not tell my parents i was gay till i was 24 i was so scared and my mother was fine and all my sisters and brother aunt uncles etc but my dad was not happy but after about 3 months he was fine and it was the best thing for me to tell them when i had a b/f there was never a problem syaying at my parents in the same bed

14 years ago

Thank 4 the advice!!!! I think my Mom would be ok with it.. my older Brother says i am gay because of my hair and the way i dress...But i think i,ll keep it to myself 4 now

14 years ago

Yeahh...FLORIDABOY...as you can see for yourself we are all with you in our thoughts. I never ever talked to my parents about being gay, I kept it for myself and I hav'nt regreted it uptil this day. You may experience your life like all young people do, there will be times when you feel happy and others when you feel very lonely but this has nothing to do with being gay caus heteros and bi-sex's go through it too.
Chin up mate....!!!!!

14 years ago

Very true nick. Floridaboy you don't need to tell them. only tell them if you think is going to help you. If you think they will react badly then why bring harder times to yourself. Its hard enough being gay with the way some people are in society, let along loosing support from your family. However if you think telling them will be a positive move then good luck. Maybe test the waters by telling them someone at school has come out and see how they react.

Good luck and remember your not alone, if you need support its out there don't sink into a bad frame of mind, i did and attempted suicide 3 times when i was 13-14

14 years ago

wingster89 offers you good advice. You do need to be true to yourself. I'd suggest you do seek out resources that may be of assistance. I've known some guys whose parents have reacted with "about time you told us." Other parent were shocked but came around quickly. Others have thrown the kids out of the house.

14 years ago

I feel for you but whether he is homophobic or not, you have to be true to yourself buddy. Its your life and you have got to go out and live it without regrets. Maybe he wont understand at first and it may very well be difficult to begin with for both of you, but if he loves you as a son then sexuality should never even come into the equation. Its your partner, not his. Your his son and he will learn to be proud of you for who YOU are. Take your time over the whole thing though and Good luck!! :)

14 years ago

There are resources available to young men who have concerns about coming Out. One is the Human Rights Campaign. http://www.hrc.org/issues/coming_out.asp Another organization is PFLAG http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=539 One more is the Trevor Project, which is mostly aimed at helping gay/lesbian teens in crisis. They have trained counselors available 24/7. 866-488-7386

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