hornyguyva's Blogs

i just want 2 hug u

I'm very sorry for your loss...I can understand what you are feeling: the love of my life died of a bacterial infection (complicated by AIDS) five years ago and there are still things I don't do or haven't done. My (very wise) pastor frequently reminds me that everyone grieves in his or her own way and time. Don't feel as if you are moving on too slowly or too quickly - there's no such thing. Your heart may not be ready even though your head says that you are. Some say the pain will go away, but I think that depends on the depth of the relationship. For me, the pain gradually got duller until it reached an tolerable level, but there will always be a small ache in my heart. There are still some songs I cannot listen to without bursting into tears.

In moving on, the first thing you have to do is forgive yourself for anything you did or think you did wrong at the time. Move on in smaller steps as you are able, putting some closure on each item or situation as you move past it. Mark each with a small ceremony, even if only in your mind. For example, Jorge was like a little boy at Christmastime. For four years I barely acknowledged the holiday of that. Last month, however, I put up the tree and decorated it in the style he had created for it, put our matching ornaments on the tree, and told everyone who came that it was dedicated to him. I moved past the Christmas thing (a BIG thing!) by having Christmas the way he liked Christmas. Doing little things to mark the milestones makes them real and puts them behind you. I hope this helps...other people can help get you through the rough times, but in the end, you are the one going through them, and you have to go through them how and when you see fit - no one's opinion matters but your own. Take care of yourself, buddy, and may God bless you richly!

hey there my friend. i lost a brother to brain cacer in 1999. it hurt so bad for quite a few years, but as time goes on the pain dwindles. the memories are still there but the pain is not. you have to move on my friend, that is what your soulmate would want for you. living your life in the past isn't healthy. live in the preasent day. there is another pearson out there waiting for your love.

Tony we are happy you chose to join us here

Thanks to everyone for your input and kind words. It is tough and finding all you great guys here at GBT has helped alot! Thank you all for being here!

I like kylie as well, great in concert, all the best Tony for the new year.

that's why we have Kylie Minogue. I love her.

every step you take forward is a step in the right direction. the feeling in your heart will always be there, when you loose someone very close to you its hard. but having true friends around you that you can chat with helps, you get your strength from them. Its not about feeling guilty, its about remembering the good times that you shared together.

I am very sorry for your loss I dont have any great words of wisdom to give you having never lost anyone of significance yet and I cant imagine how tough it is for you I do know if I lost my bf I would be devastated anytime you want to chat feel free to pm me or write on my wall... Stees xx

As time goes by you will start to feel better, your pain will ease. You'll start to remember just the happy times you spent with your partner. Any guilt you may feel about moving on will pass in time.
Start to rebuild your life. Talk to family

sorry for your loss....what did your mate say as to the subject? wouldhe kick you in the pants and say move forward? three years is a resonable time to come to grips..your love is to be shared and given..i'll bet he wishes for you to move past the pain and make someone else happy..g/l..mike

I think we struggle with a number of things when we lose the person we believe that are the forever one....we all need to feel cared for and loved....and we feel deserted and abandoned. And then we feel guilt for blaming them....and they did nothing wrong...but they are gone....and when we attempt to find some joy...we are conflicted because we believe we are being unfaithful...have we lost our commitment to the one we promised so much....but our life feels empty...and we have known joy....do we not deserve to still have it....those are the emotions I know....and they are all true...we deserve to move on....they did desert us....and we are guilty of wanting to move forward...and with that knowledge...you take the slow steps to let others into your life...into the more private places...the places that still need to feel wanted and loved....it isn't about replacement...for the one you have lost can not be replaced....but the love you have to share still needs to see the light of day....don't fight the emotions....but know that they are real....and there is nothing wrong...and as you meet new people and let them into your life....they will bring new emotions and new feelings that only augment and compliment what had been....

I share these thoughts because loss is hard. And three years after ten is a short time...but knowing that the feeling are real...and not wrong is a first step to letting love back in to your life....Hugs my friend....Thomas